Looking at the Bigger Picture

Our son has Dyslexia and Dysgraphia. However, we don’t call it that where I live. We refer to his learning disabilities as Learning Disability: Communication. This label is completely deceiving. Our son has NO problems communicating. He does however, have a lot of trouble reading and writing. With writing it is beyond the physical act, however, it’s also part of it. Simply learning how to maneuver on a keyboard won’t help him. He needs to think about every sound, for letter in every word for every sentence. Imagine the exhaustion after writing one sentence never mind a paragraph. Although our son is now functionally literate, I doubt that he will ever read John Grisham or Stephen King for pleasure. However, he might listen to them. Our son will most likely remain a comic book fan for his entire life. He likes the story lines (and trust me, there is nothing simplistic about Marvel’s Multi-Universe), and he can read these independently. Our son’s comprehension is pretty much through the roof. However, no one seems to want to take advantage of this. So, when I see modifications on his IEP, it is usually around reducing the amount of reading or writing our son is expected to produce. So, if an average student in his grade is expected to write a page, he might be expected to write a paragraph. Why can’t he dictate and still be expected to produce a page? Why isn’t our son provided with audio books to listen to and then he can dictate answers to comprehension questions into his computer? My question is this: what are we trying to accomplish with modifications to the curriculum? The IEP is supposed to establish multiple access points to the curriculum. It is supposed to provide equity. I’m not sure that this is happening. This year, more so than others, it’s just not sitting well with me. 

Racing to Help Kids with LD

Good Morning! Just letting everyone know about a super fun event we're hosting in 2 weeks in support of children with Learning Disabilities. It's an Amazing Race type event throughout Durham Region. The Amazing Race for Learning is super fun and filled with family friendly activities and challenges. Grand Prize is one week's accommodations anywhere in the continental USA! Happy Saturday everyone!
https://www.facebook.com/rarforlearning

A blessing and a curse

The Ipad, the Ipod, smart phones and the computer.  All of them are useful devices that help us get through our day.  Emails, Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram etc. are all wonderful ways to share our lives and stay in touch with friends and family.  There are all sorts of educational apps that help us teach our children social skills, their ABC's, Mathematics, art, fashion design or pretty much anything else we can think of.  Apps help us find coupons, coffee shops, track our calories and remind us to drink our water.  We keep track of our family calendars and sync between all family members and their devices.  We can respond to texts and emails virtually anywhere at anytime.  These are all very helpful tools for busy families who cannot always pick up the phone during reasonable business hours.

However, my ADHD guy definitely has an addiction.  YouTube, Minecraft, Chess, Zombie Warfare, Clash of Clans.  All of these games and apps have their uses and I used to be very lenient because they were creative, strategic etc.  However, we let things go too far and the Ipad started going to bed.  At first it was occasionally, then it became more frequent.  Then my guy became dependent.  The Ipad goes to bed with him more often than not.  Yes, we disconnect wi-fi but, if he can't sleep, he just finds other games to play.

We went through a time when my guy wasn't able to fall asleep until 11pm.  This wasn't enough sleep to get him through the day and he turned into a hot mess very quickly.  We began cutting back on the Ipad and started some Melatonin and that helped.  However, the more research I did, the more I realized what I already knew - the Ipad needs to go.  We are on the 4 week countdown to the first day of school.  It is my goal to have the Ipad off an hour before bed and it stays downstairs.  It's going to be SO painful.  My little guy is not open to this at all.  I have flashbacks of putting my kids to bed when they were babies - that kind of painful.

Bobby Fischer is that you?

So my kid has taught himself how to play chess.  Truly, and honestly, he knows how to play chess.  He picked up the game in grade 4.  His teacher brought in a chess board and the kids would "play" during indoor recess or during free time etc.  The teacher taught the students some basic moves but they, for the most part, made up their own game outside of these basic elements.  Since then, R has moved schools and they have a chess club.  Last year he was too late to join.  However, this year he has not just joined but has qualified to enter the school competition.  What?  I mean...what?

I knew he liked the game but I didn't realize that he had been practicing on line and teaching himself by watching videos (thanks youtube).  My husband told me this news yesterday.  "You mean play, play?"  I asked. "Not just made up play?" and he told me about the competition.  I've tried SO many times to pick up chess and it literally makes my brain hurt.  I can't remember the names of the pieces, which ones are stronger and in which direction each piece can move.  As I said to my husband yesterday - I can barely keep up with checkers most days.

No, I don't REALLY think he's the next Bobby Fischer but it's kind of cool that a kid, who people had started to write off, taught himself, and remembered, some of the intricacies and strategies of a pretty complicated game with limited reading ability.  Part of my "break" has been my intense anxiety about the future.  My head know's he's going to be O.K. but my heart hasn't always been so sure.  Now, without any doubt, I know.

Remembering where we were

When I have doubt or fear that Ryan's progress is too slow or that he'll never "get there", I often re-read my personal diary that I sometimes keep.  Usually I only write in it when I really, really need to get stuff out of my head.  It's often in stops and starts.  Sometimes I'm writing a book, sometimes a poem and sometimes it's just random ramblings.

I recently read an excerpt about the day when I realized, to my very core, that things weren't going to be an easy ride for my guy,  He'd finally started with the Occupational Therapy (OT) for his handwriting,  This was about halfway through 3rd grade.  We were thrilled.  Finally - we thought.  We'd waited a year for these services.  In the initial report that we received it was noted that when the Occupational Therapist asked Ryan to identify the letters of the alphabet he could correctly identify about half of all the letters in upper case and about a quarter of the letters in lower case.  I cried.  I cried like I have never cried before.  Then I marched over to the school to discuss what our next steps were.  We were dumbfounded.  How can a child get to grade three and NOT know the letters of the alphabet?

This is when I began to truly understand the depths of Ryan’s disability.

Getting back into routine

We survived the holidays!  Yay to us!  Few meltdowns, lots of visiting, way too much food and a good time was had by all.  We hope that everyone had a great new Year's Eve!  Now that all of the festivities are over, everyone is getting bored and restless and we're ready to get back into routine.  R has been doing his homework every day this week.  Although he protested mightily at first, I think he's actually glad to have this one thing that is routinized in his day.  Yes it's all good to be without a timetable and schedule and to wake up late etc.  However, when you have attention and memory issues, routine is the best thing you can do to support yourself.  I know for my own self that if I have a change in my routine, that's when I'm most likely to leave my phone at home or some piece of my lunch gets left on the kitchen counter.

This doesn't mean that you can never have a carefree lifestyle or that you are bound to a schedule forever.  It simply means that making small routines throughout your day will go a long way when it comes to memory or attention dysfunctions.  For example, breakfast, bed and bath and dinner routines can help make these times a little less chaotic and the whole process can run more smoothly.  As children get older and become more responsible for their own routines, having these foundation routines can make this transition easier.

Keeping the kids into routine where possible not only keeps them on track but keeps me on track too.  It's good to take a break from routine.  It shakes things up and allows for different experiences.  It's also nice to have some familiar friendly routines to come home to.

Cheers!

it's the little things...acknowledging our strengths

As I'm getting ready to take Ryan to his hockey game yesterday he shows me his latest Lego creation.  He's getting more creative with his Lego.  He's starting to build structures and vehicles instead of his regular elaborate battle scenes.  Don't get me wrong, his battles and war stories are very complex and strategic.  It's just that he's been raging war against the Empire since forever, so I think sometimes I forget how complicated his story lines are.  So he's explaining his latest invention and it's really kind of a cool little car with a compartment that can hold stuff.  He then tells me that he wants to be a Lego Master Builder.  We saw a job posting not too long ago and he's been fixated ever since.  I told him that I think that might be a good summer job in a few years when he's older and has some more experience building bigger structures.  "Well," he states, "My ADHD gives me extra creativity.".  Slightly surprised by this statement, and knowing how my son speaks I asked him who told him that?  I mean, I know how fabulous he is and we discuss his creativity all the time.  However, I don't think I've ever actually told him that I think he is creative.  He relied simply with "H" (a friend of the family).  "Well," I relied, "I think she's right.".  "YES!" Ryan exclaims in triumph, "Finally...this ADHD thing is good for something!!".  Way to see the positive my friend!  Clearly we need to do more of that.  New Year's resolution #1.

Happy Holidays to everyone!  Breath deeply and remember the positives and focus on strengths.  Things can go sideways pretty quickly so bring your sense of humor and know that this too shall pass.  As my fav author Dr. Seuss says "Those who matter won't mind and those who mind don't matter".