More about ADHD

Here is a fantastic episode from CBC's "The Nature of Things" with David Suzuki. It's primarily about Adult ADHD but explains what ADHD is, discusses the impact of ADHD and treatments such as therapy, medication, life coaching and new methods for creating neurons (much like what our son did through the Arrowsmith).

It's a lengthy watch but if you are interested in learning about ADHD, or are just curious about the condition, then it's well worth it. Our son sees Dr. Hoffer for treatment so it was interesting to see him as one of the featured Dr.s being interviewed for this episode!!

Click HERE to watch the video.

What is ADHD?

I had an interesting conversation with a dear friend’s mother the other day about ADHD and I realized that there is still a lot of mystery about ADHD, what it is and how it is diagnosed. It seems like all you hear about is ADHD and everyone is getting diagnosed with ADHD. Is ADHD just an excuse for bad parenting? Are we just letting our kids run amok and then labelling them as ADHD? Maybe.

**I should note at this point that I am NOT a medical professional and any opinions voiced in this blog are just that, my opinions. I have no medical training and base my knowledge on my own research and our family’s experiences. If you question whether your own child has ADHD, you should seek medical advice from your GP or pediatrician.**

I too, read articles titled “14 Signs of ADHD” and think that these just sound like busy children. Then I reflect on our own experience. It’s hard to explain other than parental instinct. But you watch your child, among their peers, and there is something different. You child is louder, busier, angrier, whinier, messier, more forgetful, more destructive, more energetic, sillier than the others. All. The. Time. It may be subtle, but the inkling is there. Our son was not diagnosed until grade 4 so he was still only 8 years old. We knew that our son was having difficulty academically. His learning disabilities were the focus of everyone’s energies. However, his ADHD was also getting in the way of his progress.

I also hear arguments about how the school environment is not conducive to children’s natural personalities and therefore we just label kids as having ADHD. I tend to agree somewhat. I think early childhood education is too restrictive, classrooms are too big and that 3 and 4-year old’s do not need to be in institutional care 5 days a week. In Ontario we run play based kindergarten programs. Unfortunately, we also have class sizes of up to 30 children in rooms designed for 20, utilizing a program that was designed for class sizes of 18. So, while I do have some exceptions to the educational system and gaps in teacher training in general, most children can adapt. Perhaps not willingly, but most kids tend to settle into routine and begin to flourish in our education system such as it is. Our son did not. In fact, he got worse. His emotional outbursts were getting him teased and bullied at school, he couldn’t read, he couldn’t remember how to write his last name. When tested, his reading and writing were immeasurable, and he couldn’t follow 2 step instructions without forgetting at least one of the steps if not both of them.

ADHD does not just speak about busy, rough and tumble children. Or the day-dreamy child who must be called back to the task at hand. It’s when the rough and tumble, busy, day dreaming starts to get in the way. It gets in the way of friends. It gets in the way at home. It gets in the way at school. It’s after using calendars and routines and check lists and they still forget to brush their teeth AND get their P.J.s on. It’s after losing endless numbers of hats and mitts and scarves (not just one or two sets but literally a set a week). It’s after getting another phone call home about being hands on at school again. It’s about hearing the announcement for sports try outs in the morning but forgetting to go at lunch. It’s about getting so frustrated that everything is so hard everyday that you can do nothing else but meltdown and hide behind the bushes on the school yard.

This is ADHD.

Stop worrying about what's next

Um...pardon? How can I NOT worry about what's next? I'm ALWAYS worried about what's next. It feels like a constant hamster wheel going around and around trying to supplement our son's areas of need in order to "prepare" him for what's next. Yet in our hyper vigilance, we sometimes forget to explore and rejoice in his strengths right now. Our son is a brilliant story teller. He is an extraordinary engineer and game creator. He is constantly making up games and downloading game boards to go along with them. He creates videos and posts them and is creating quite the following. We sometimes forget that these skills will take him far in life. That he has created coping mechanisms to get through the daily grind in an environment not suited to his needs, is an incredible ability. I would never condescend him by saying his learning disabilities are gifts. They are not. They are challenges that he contends with every minute of every day of his life. However, his type of brain that grows creativity, enables problem solving and enlists critical thinking IS a gift. This gift will carry him and help him when things get rough. This gift will bring solace and escape on dark days. This gift will prepare him for what is to come. Some days we have to pause and reflect and breath. He may not go unscathed, but he will be O.K.

Here is a great article I found on focusing on strengths when creating IEPs. Click HERE to read more.

Looking at the Bigger Picture

Our son has Dyslexia and Dysgraphia. However, we don’t call it that where I live. We refer to his learning disabilities as Learning Disability: Communication. This label is completely deceiving. Our son has NO problems communicating. He does however, have a lot of trouble reading and writing. With writing it is beyond the physical act, however, it’s also part of it. Simply learning how to maneuver on a keyboard won’t help him. He needs to think about every sound, for letter in every word for every sentence. Imagine the exhaustion after writing one sentence never mind a paragraph. Although our son is now functionally literate, I doubt that he will ever read John Grisham or Stephen King for pleasure. However, he might listen to them. Our son will most likely remain a comic book fan for his entire life. He likes the story lines (and trust me, there is nothing simplistic about Marvel’s Multi-Universe), and he can read these independently. Our son’s comprehension is pretty much through the roof. However, no one seems to want to take advantage of this. So, when I see modifications on his IEP, it is usually around reducing the amount of reading or writing our son is expected to produce. So, if an average student in his grade is expected to write a page, he might be expected to write a paragraph. Why can’t he dictate and still be expected to produce a page? Why isn’t our son provided with audio books to listen to and then he can dictate answers to comprehension questions into his computer? My question is this: what are we trying to accomplish with modifications to the curriculum? The IEP is supposed to establish multiple access points to the curriculum. It is supposed to provide equity. I’m not sure that this is happening. This year, more so than others, it’s just not sitting well with me. 

A blessing and a curse

The Ipad, the Ipod, smart phones and the computer.  All of them are useful devices that help us get through our day.  Emails, Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram etc. are all wonderful ways to share our lives and stay in touch with friends and family.  There are all sorts of educational apps that help us teach our children social skills, their ABC's, Mathematics, art, fashion design or pretty much anything else we can think of.  Apps help us find coupons, coffee shops, track our calories and remind us to drink our water.  We keep track of our family calendars and sync between all family members and their devices.  We can respond to texts and emails virtually anywhere at anytime.  These are all very helpful tools for busy families who cannot always pick up the phone during reasonable business hours.

However, my ADHD guy definitely has an addiction.  YouTube, Minecraft, Chess, Zombie Warfare, Clash of Clans.  All of these games and apps have their uses and I used to be very lenient because they were creative, strategic etc.  However, we let things go too far and the Ipad started going to bed.  At first it was occasionally, then it became more frequent.  Then my guy became dependent.  The Ipad goes to bed with him more often than not.  Yes, we disconnect wi-fi but, if he can't sleep, he just finds other games to play.

We went through a time when my guy wasn't able to fall asleep until 11pm.  This wasn't enough sleep to get him through the day and he turned into a hot mess very quickly.  We began cutting back on the Ipad and started some Melatonin and that helped.  However, the more research I did, the more I realized what I already knew - the Ipad needs to go.  We are on the 4 week countdown to the first day of school.  It is my goal to have the Ipad off an hour before bed and it stays downstairs.  It's going to be SO painful.  My little guy is not open to this at all.  I have flashbacks of putting my kids to bed when they were babies - that kind of painful.

Bobby Fischer is that you?

So my kid has taught himself how to play chess.  Truly, and honestly, he knows how to play chess.  He picked up the game in grade 4.  His teacher brought in a chess board and the kids would "play" during indoor recess or during free time etc.  The teacher taught the students some basic moves but they, for the most part, made up their own game outside of these basic elements.  Since then, R has moved schools and they have a chess club.  Last year he was too late to join.  However, this year he has not just joined but has qualified to enter the school competition.  What?  I mean...what?

I knew he liked the game but I didn't realize that he had been practicing on line and teaching himself by watching videos (thanks youtube).  My husband told me this news yesterday.  "You mean play, play?"  I asked. "Not just made up play?" and he told me about the competition.  I've tried SO many times to pick up chess and it literally makes my brain hurt.  I can't remember the names of the pieces, which ones are stronger and in which direction each piece can move.  As I said to my husband yesterday - I can barely keep up with checkers most days.

No, I don't REALLY think he's the next Bobby Fischer but it's kind of cool that a kid, who people had started to write off, taught himself, and remembered, some of the intricacies and strategies of a pretty complicated game with limited reading ability.  Part of my "break" has been my intense anxiety about the future.  My head know's he's going to be O.K. but my heart hasn't always been so sure.  Now, without any doubt, I know.

Remembering where we were

When I have doubt or fear that Ryan's progress is too slow or that he'll never "get there", I often re-read my personal diary that I sometimes keep.  Usually I only write in it when I really, really need to get stuff out of my head.  It's often in stops and starts.  Sometimes I'm writing a book, sometimes a poem and sometimes it's just random ramblings.

I recently read an excerpt about the day when I realized, to my very core, that things weren't going to be an easy ride for my guy,  He'd finally started with the Occupational Therapy (OT) for his handwriting,  This was about halfway through 3rd grade.  We were thrilled.  Finally - we thought.  We'd waited a year for these services.  In the initial report that we received it was noted that when the Occupational Therapist asked Ryan to identify the letters of the alphabet he could correctly identify about half of all the letters in upper case and about a quarter of the letters in lower case.  I cried.  I cried like I have never cried before.  Then I marched over to the school to discuss what our next steps were.  We were dumbfounded.  How can a child get to grade three and NOT know the letters of the alphabet?

This is when I began to truly understand the depths of Ryan’s disability.

Getting back into routine

We survived the holidays!  Yay to us!  Few meltdowns, lots of visiting, way too much food and a good time was had by all.  We hope that everyone had a great new Year's Eve!  Now that all of the festivities are over, everyone is getting bored and restless and we're ready to get back into routine.  R has been doing his homework every day this week.  Although he protested mightily at first, I think he's actually glad to have this one thing that is routinized in his day.  Yes it's all good to be without a timetable and schedule and to wake up late etc.  However, when you have attention and memory issues, routine is the best thing you can do to support yourself.  I know for my own self that if I have a change in my routine, that's when I'm most likely to leave my phone at home or some piece of my lunch gets left on the kitchen counter.

This doesn't mean that you can never have a carefree lifestyle or that you are bound to a schedule forever.  It simply means that making small routines throughout your day will go a long way when it comes to memory or attention dysfunctions.  For example, breakfast, bed and bath and dinner routines can help make these times a little less chaotic and the whole process can run more smoothly.  As children get older and become more responsible for their own routines, having these foundation routines can make this transition easier.

Keeping the kids into routine where possible not only keeps them on track but keeps me on track too.  It's good to take a break from routine.  It shakes things up and allows for different experiences.  It's also nice to have some familiar friendly routines to come home to.

Cheers!

it's the little things...acknowledging our strengths

As I'm getting ready to take Ryan to his hockey game yesterday he shows me his latest Lego creation.  He's getting more creative with his Lego.  He's starting to build structures and vehicles instead of his regular elaborate battle scenes.  Don't get me wrong, his battles and war stories are very complex and strategic.  It's just that he's been raging war against the Empire since forever, so I think sometimes I forget how complicated his story lines are.  So he's explaining his latest invention and it's really kind of a cool little car with a compartment that can hold stuff.  He then tells me that he wants to be a Lego Master Builder.  We saw a job posting not too long ago and he's been fixated ever since.  I told him that I think that might be a good summer job in a few years when he's older and has some more experience building bigger structures.  "Well," he states, "My ADHD gives me extra creativity.".  Slightly surprised by this statement, and knowing how my son speaks I asked him who told him that?  I mean, I know how fabulous he is and we discuss his creativity all the time.  However, I don't think I've ever actually told him that I think he is creative.  He relied simply with "H" (a friend of the family).  "Well," I relied, "I think she's right.".  "YES!" Ryan exclaims in triumph, "Finally...this ADHD thing is good for something!!".  Way to see the positive my friend!  Clearly we need to do more of that.  New Year's resolution #1.

Happy Holidays to everyone!  Breath deeply and remember the positives and focus on strengths.  Things can go sideways pretty quickly so bring your sense of humor and know that this too shall pass.  As my fav author Dr. Seuss says "Those who matter won't mind and those who mind don't matter".

Getting Things Done.

As things ramp up for the holidays it's easy for us to get caught up in the hustle and bustle.  Our "To Do" lists grow longer and the hours in a day seem to disappear with the daylight.  It's important to remember during these times of increased stress and reduced patience that our children with Executive Functioning issues aren't trying to be difficult or lazy.  They often times simply can't hold more than 2 instructions in their memories at a time (normally it's about 4).  Add in the distraction that comes with ADHD, disruption to routine or fatigue, and it could create a cocktail for disaster.

The gift that these challenges bring to us is that they remind us to slow down, speak slowly and softly and take things one at a time.  When we are running on all cylinders and burning the candle at both ends, these may not be bad things.  This article from Understood has some great strategies for giving instructions to kids with learning and attention issues.  Some of them we use regularly and some were good reminders.  Enjoy!

It's the little things: Top Secret

So...we have some very exciting news!!  It looks like Ryan will be joining his typical class for Science very soon!!  We'll know for sure when by the end of the week.  This is the most amazing news!  The more typical classes that Ryan returns to, means the more his brain is developing and can begin to handle a typical school workload.  Apparently his math skills are really taking off (Ryan has always had more strength in Math) and his teachers think he might be able to handle the science curriculum.  He will still have some accommodating for his writing and reading but this is truly exciting news.

Ryan also mastered another level in his tracing.  That's 2 levels in 2 weeks!  Apparently a new world record.  So after some initial struggle and frustration, it seems like things are falling into place.  We had a huge discussion about short term "pain" and longer term "gain".  I was glad to have some concrete examples relevant to his world.  All of this great news has renewed Ryan's motivation to stay in homework club and work really diligently at his program.  It's been tricky for the past couple of weeks - this was some much needed good news!!

Happy Thursday!

My Kid Hates School

My son hates school.  I can’t really blame him.  The school environment is not conducive to his learning style.  Ryan is busy and physical and totally learns by doing.  This might be partly to do with his learning disabilities and also just the way his brain prefers to process information.  Now that he is in the Arrowsmith program it’s even worse.  He is totally 2 sides of the coin with his new school.  On one hand, he likes the teachers and kids in his typical class.  He hangs out with them during recess and gym and genuinely enjoys their company.  He is finding social success at this new school.  No one has called him “crazy”, or “stupid”.  No one has intimidated him or threatened him with physical harm.  He has not come home early from play-dates (sorry…from “hanging out”) and he has had amazing times at birthday parties.  Never mind the fact that he’s been invited to birthday parties.

However, his Arrowsmith classroom is very small this year.  There are only 5 students (including Ryan), down from 11 last year.  Ryan does not like 3 of the 4 students left in his class and these are the students he spends most of his time with.  Ryan is only at grade 3 reading and just moved into grade 4 math.  However, he is still in the tutoring sessions with the younger kids.  He wants to be with his buddy who is a grade ahead of him.

The Arrowsmith program is also really demanding.  I mean, REALLY demanding.  I wouldn't choose to do the intensity of work that Ryan is doing.  He mostly tolerates things but it’s really hard for him.  It sounds counterproductive but it’s SO important to follow the program to maximize the results.  Ryan doesn't have the life experience to realize that short term pain will produce longer term gains.  I know that sounds like some 80’s workout video slogan but we, as adults, know it to be true.  How do I explain this to my 10 year old who simply doesn't buy it?

Anxiety

So this summer has been pretty busy to say the least.  Our family has weathered the storm of a life or death health emergency and have, very thankfully, come out on the other side in tact.  However, it hasn't come without some residual casualties.  My summer of reading with Ryan and reviewing comprehension activities and journaling are out the window.  This summer we read two passages and wrote two journals.  My daughter's bucket list summer of activities to do together on my days off are out the window too.  We did manage to salvage some family time and it was great - just not what we planned.  During this summer of the necessity of being flexible, of rolling with the punches, of figuring it out as we go, I forget that this doesn't always work for my kids.  Now, my kids have been SUPER awesome given the circumstances but recently my son's been having trouble sleeping.  WHAT?!  When did this start?  How come I didn't notice?

My mind starts racing to the obvious...medication.  Do we need to change it?  Do we need to stop it?  Then I started putting two and two together.  Funny, sleep issues only started when we started back to school shopping.  So I asked my son if anything was bothering him.  This lead into a discussion about the whole process for the first day of school.  Remember, we started at his new school in March.  This will be Ryan's fist "First Day of School" at PCS.  So, we reviewed the whole process, agreed that Dad would go with him to the gym for the Kick Off assembly with the principal and then show him where his classroom is.  Funny, he slept like a log that night.

Anxiety can rear it's ugly head with any child.  However, for a child with working memory issues changes to routine can be especially distressing.  Mostly because it's very hard to draw on past experiences...they simply can't always remember all of the details.  My son is usually very good at advocating for himself when he is not sure what's going on.  But sometimes he's not sure what's wrong himself.  Just because the adults know the game plan, we have to remember to take the time, in this world of never enough time, to remember to explain the plan to the kids - especially the kids who depend on routine.

It's the little things...

This may seem so small, so insignificant.  However, every time I think of it I'm moved almost to tears.  Please don't laugh out loud at me but, Ryan had his annual eye exam today and used only LETTERS during his exam.  No symbols!  He was readily able to identify all the ones he could see.  Turns out the little man needs some reading glasses.  We thought stress and adjustment were the culprits behind his headaches last year during his transition at PCS and Arrowsmith...oops.  Once we get his new specs he'll be off and running into a brand new school year.  I told you it was small...but not so insignificant.  This is another milestone.  YAY!

Are Learning Disabilities Real?

I can't tell you how many times I've been asked this question.  There is an underlying assumption that, because you can't always "see" a learning disability that they must be fake.  Really, the child is just lazy.  This is often true in a case like ours where Ryan's vocabulary is above grade level.  When speech and reading are so closely linked, it is hard to imagine that one can have an above grade level vocabulary, yet a drastically below grade level reading performance.  However, that is our reality.  Here is a wonderful article to help people understand the challenges someone might go through DAILY with a reading disability.  Please enjoy and feel free to pass along!

The Address

Amazing!  What an amazing documentary.  I've had it on PVR for the longest time finally took a moment to watch it.  The Address (PBS) takes us to Putney, Vermont and introduces us to the Greenwood School.  Greenwood is a boarding school for boys with various learning challenges.  Every student has some form of learning disability, ADD/ADHD, behaviour issue or speech impediment.  Greenwood only houses 50 students (ages 11-17) and each of those students come with not only challenges to how they learn, but the emotional baggage that comes with years of suffering.  Each year starting in November, the teachers use The Gettysburg Address as a teaching tool.  The students commit The Gettysburg Address to memory and participate in a competition in February where they recite The Gettysburg Address in front of their peers and family.  Through exploring the students at Greenwood, Ken Burns also examines the history and context of one President Lincoln's most important speeches.

Its amazing to see the impact that this 2 minute speech has on the lives of the students and teachers at Greenwood.  The 90 minute documentary follows the students around for the weeks leading up to the performance.  It shows how the teachers use the speech as a teaching tool and how it permeates each of the student's curriculum classes such as History (kind of obviously) and Literacy but it's also used in speech therapy and occupational therapy classes.  Students had highs and lows as they each prepared to share their final version of the speech.  We saw students meltdown and rise back up to the challenge to not only complete The Gettysburg Address but to actually excel at public speaking and become impassioned by the ideology behind the original Address.

This is truly a remarkable documentary and well worth watching.

Out of the Box

I know I've already posted today but...I just read this email and thought it was another great example of thinking outside of the box.  I know it's American based but I'm interested to see the full documentary:

National Center for Learning Disabilities