ADHD and the Holidays

As many of you know and have experienced, the holidays can be both a blessing and a curse if you are living with and loving someone with ADHD.  The late nights, crowded shopping malls, extra things on “to do” lists, parties, strangers, traveling, sweets, rich dinners, greasy take out, getting out of routine and, of course taking some actual time off, can lead to elevated levels of anxiety, meltdowns and frustration…and that’s from your neurotypical family members! Seriously though, all the above can amplify and wear out your family members with ADHD and yourself which is often an explosive combination. This was us for a very long time.  I have a tough time with the holidays to begin with, probably because of working retail for years and seeing the awful side of people.  Then throw in dealing with our son’s anxiety and I’m just done with this whole holiday cheer thing. This year though we decided to try to do things differently. We got really organized and took advantage of online shopping and Black Friday/Cyber Monday deals. Thus, reducing our ventures into the unholy world of the mall at Christmas season. Now that our son is old enough to stay home by himself, he too has been able to avoid unnecessary trips into crowded and hot stores that he has no interest in being in. We are trying to plan outings around dinner to avoid eating out. Not only am I still on my weight loss journey, but too much take out is just never a good thing. We get up and out earlier on weekends when we are all more rested, and places are less crowded. We also make shorter trips more often, instead of trying to do everything in one go. It means I must really keep on top of my lists and it’s a bit more inconvenient, but it’s making the over all experience much better for everyone. I can also take each child separately and tackle their shopping lists too, while spending a little one-on-one time with each of them.

What are some of your tips for getting ready for the holidays?

it's the little things...acknowledging our strengths

As I'm getting ready to take Ryan to his hockey game yesterday he shows me his latest Lego creation.  He's getting more creative with his Lego.  He's starting to build structures and vehicles instead of his regular elaborate battle scenes.  Don't get me wrong, his battles and war stories are very complex and strategic.  It's just that he's been raging war against the Empire since forever, so I think sometimes I forget how complicated his story lines are.  So he's explaining his latest invention and it's really kind of a cool little car with a compartment that can hold stuff.  He then tells me that he wants to be a Lego Master Builder.  We saw a job posting not too long ago and he's been fixated ever since.  I told him that I think that might be a good summer job in a few years when he's older and has some more experience building bigger structures.  "Well," he states, "My ADHD gives me extra creativity.".  Slightly surprised by this statement, and knowing how my son speaks I asked him who told him that?  I mean, I know how fabulous he is and we discuss his creativity all the time.  However, I don't think I've ever actually told him that I think he is creative.  He relied simply with "H" (a friend of the family).  "Well," I relied, "I think she's right.".  "YES!" Ryan exclaims in triumph, "Finally...this ADHD thing is good for something!!".  Way to see the positive my friend!  Clearly we need to do more of that.  New Year's resolution #1.

Happy Holidays to everyone!  Breath deeply and remember the positives and focus on strengths.  Things can go sideways pretty quickly so bring your sense of humor and know that this too shall pass.  As my fav author Dr. Seuss says "Those who matter won't mind and those who mind don't matter".