it's the little things...acknowledging our strengths

As I'm getting ready to take Ryan to his hockey game yesterday he shows me his latest Lego creation.  He's getting more creative with his Lego.  He's starting to build structures and vehicles instead of his regular elaborate battle scenes.  Don't get me wrong, his battles and war stories are very complex and strategic.  It's just that he's been raging war against the Empire since forever, so I think sometimes I forget how complicated his story lines are.  So he's explaining his latest invention and it's really kind of a cool little car with a compartment that can hold stuff.  He then tells me that he wants to be a Lego Master Builder.  We saw a job posting not too long ago and he's been fixated ever since.  I told him that I think that might be a good summer job in a few years when he's older and has some more experience building bigger structures.  "Well," he states, "My ADHD gives me extra creativity.".  Slightly surprised by this statement, and knowing how my son speaks I asked him who told him that?  I mean, I know how fabulous he is and we discuss his creativity all the time.  However, I don't think I've ever actually told him that I think he is creative.  He relied simply with "H" (a friend of the family).  "Well," I relied, "I think she's right.".  "YES!" Ryan exclaims in triumph, "Finally...this ADHD thing is good for something!!".  Way to see the positive my friend!  Clearly we need to do more of that.  New Year's resolution #1.

Happy Holidays to everyone!  Breath deeply and remember the positives and focus on strengths.  Things can go sideways pretty quickly so bring your sense of humor and know that this too shall pass.  As my fav author Dr. Seuss says "Those who matter won't mind and those who mind don't matter".

Understood helps with Understanding

https://www.understood.org/en


This is a fantastic website for anyone dealing with learning and attention issues. It's not only full of great articles, but the creators have designed a section called "Through Your Child's Eye".  This section contains a number of simulations relating to some of the main learning or attention issues addressed on the website.  Trying some of the games really opened my eyes to the difficulties Ryan may experience on any given day.  Now, trying to imagine my entire day, all day, every day, struggling like this left me exhausted.  I could not imagine dealing with some of these experiences all day long!

Getting Things Done.

As things ramp up for the holidays it's easy for us to get caught up in the hustle and bustle.  Our "To Do" lists grow longer and the hours in a day seem to disappear with the daylight.  It's important to remember during these times of increased stress and reduced patience that our children with Executive Functioning issues aren't trying to be difficult or lazy.  They often times simply can't hold more than 2 instructions in their memories at a time (normally it's about 4).  Add in the distraction that comes with ADHD, disruption to routine or fatigue, and it could create a cocktail for disaster.

The gift that these challenges bring to us is that they remind us to slow down, speak slowly and softly and take things one at a time.  When we are running on all cylinders and burning the candle at both ends, these may not be bad things.  This article from Understood has some great strategies for giving instructions to kids with learning and attention issues.  Some of them we use regularly and some were good reminders.  Enjoy!

It's the little things: Top Secret

So...we have some very exciting news!!  It looks like Ryan will be joining his typical class for Science very soon!!  We'll know for sure when by the end of the week.  This is the most amazing news!  The more typical classes that Ryan returns to, means the more his brain is developing and can begin to handle a typical school workload.  Apparently his math skills are really taking off (Ryan has always had more strength in Math) and his teachers think he might be able to handle the science curriculum.  He will still have some accommodating for his writing and reading but this is truly exciting news.

Ryan also mastered another level in his tracing.  That's 2 levels in 2 weeks!  Apparently a new world record.  So after some initial struggle and frustration, it seems like things are falling into place.  We had a huge discussion about short term "pain" and longer term "gain".  I was glad to have some concrete examples relevant to his world.  All of this great news has renewed Ryan's motivation to stay in homework club and work really diligently at his program.  It's been tricky for the past couple of weeks - this was some much needed good news!!

Happy Thursday!

My Kid Hates School

My son hates school.  I can’t really blame him.  The school environment is not conducive to his learning style.  Ryan is busy and physical and totally learns by doing.  This might be partly to do with his learning disabilities and also just the way his brain prefers to process information.  Now that he is in the Arrowsmith program it’s even worse.  He is totally 2 sides of the coin with his new school.  On one hand, he likes the teachers and kids in his typical class.  He hangs out with them during recess and gym and genuinely enjoys their company.  He is finding social success at this new school.  No one has called him “crazy”, or “stupid”.  No one has intimidated him or threatened him with physical harm.  He has not come home early from play-dates (sorry…from “hanging out”) and he has had amazing times at birthday parties.  Never mind the fact that he’s been invited to birthday parties.

However, his Arrowsmith classroom is very small this year.  There are only 5 students (including Ryan), down from 11 last year.  Ryan does not like 3 of the 4 students left in his class and these are the students he spends most of his time with.  Ryan is only at grade 3 reading and just moved into grade 4 math.  However, he is still in the tutoring sessions with the younger kids.  He wants to be with his buddy who is a grade ahead of him.

The Arrowsmith program is also really demanding.  I mean, REALLY demanding.  I wouldn't choose to do the intensity of work that Ryan is doing.  He mostly tolerates things but it’s really hard for him.  It sounds counterproductive but it’s SO important to follow the program to maximize the results.  Ryan doesn't have the life experience to realize that short term pain will produce longer term gains.  I know that sounds like some 80’s workout video slogan but we, as adults, know it to be true.  How do I explain this to my 10 year old who simply doesn't buy it?

Anxiety

So this summer has been pretty busy to say the least.  Our family has weathered the storm of a life or death health emergency and have, very thankfully, come out on the other side in tact.  However, it hasn't come without some residual casualties.  My summer of reading with Ryan and reviewing comprehension activities and journaling are out the window.  This summer we read two passages and wrote two journals.  My daughter's bucket list summer of activities to do together on my days off are out the window too.  We did manage to salvage some family time and it was great - just not what we planned.  During this summer of the necessity of being flexible, of rolling with the punches, of figuring it out as we go, I forget that this doesn't always work for my kids.  Now, my kids have been SUPER awesome given the circumstances but recently my son's been having trouble sleeping.  WHAT?!  When did this start?  How come I didn't notice?

My mind starts racing to the obvious...medication.  Do we need to change it?  Do we need to stop it?  Then I started putting two and two together.  Funny, sleep issues only started when we started back to school shopping.  So I asked my son if anything was bothering him.  This lead into a discussion about the whole process for the first day of school.  Remember, we started at his new school in March.  This will be Ryan's fist "First Day of School" at PCS.  So, we reviewed the whole process, agreed that Dad would go with him to the gym for the Kick Off assembly with the principal and then show him where his classroom is.  Funny, he slept like a log that night.

Anxiety can rear it's ugly head with any child.  However, for a child with working memory issues changes to routine can be especially distressing.  Mostly because it's very hard to draw on past experiences...they simply can't always remember all of the details.  My son is usually very good at advocating for himself when he is not sure what's going on.  But sometimes he's not sure what's wrong himself.  Just because the adults know the game plan, we have to remember to take the time, in this world of never enough time, to remember to explain the plan to the kids - especially the kids who depend on routine.

It's the little things...

This may seem so small, so insignificant.  However, every time I think of it I'm moved almost to tears.  Please don't laugh out loud at me but, Ryan had his annual eye exam today and used only LETTERS during his exam.  No symbols!  He was readily able to identify all the ones he could see.  Turns out the little man needs some reading glasses.  We thought stress and adjustment were the culprits behind his headaches last year during his transition at PCS and Arrowsmith...oops.  Once we get his new specs he'll be off and running into a brand new school year.  I told you it was small...but not so insignificant.  This is another milestone.  YAY!